Deep Dark Suspicions

I have recently come to the realization that I have been roommates with both a spy and a vampire.

The spy was my old roommate, Clark Gunnerson (if that is even his real name). I believe he was actually an Israeli spy who's mission was to ascertain BYU's intentions with the Jerusalem Center. He masked his identity by pretending to learn Hebrew (a likely story), but his pro-Israel stance on all Middle East issues gave him away. When he graduated from BYU and could no longer spy there, he married an ex-KGB provocatuer and worked at the University of Utah to get closer to church HQ (his next assignment). Now he has gone back to his homeland to institute the "Gunner Plan."

The vampire was Brant Stewart, whom many of you know but didn't realize his true nature. My evidence is that I never saw him during the day. He would be gone in the morning before I woke up (supposedly to "Volleyball practice"), and he wouldn't get home until I was asleep. Chances are he was using the night to prey on my blood every night while I slept, a little at a time. I always wondered where I got those scars on my neck. Also, he spent a substantial amount of time in Transylvania, which everyone knows is the home of Dracula. My belief is that he did not move to Washington D.C, but he moved to Alaska, where it's night time for 6 straight months.

Bottom 10

Ten things I hate.

1. Turning the light on when I wake up.
2. People talking to me when I've just woken up.
3. Going to sleep when I'm hot.
4. When I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
5. When I wake up in the middle of the night and my pillow is on the floor.
6. Getting up to turn the light off so I can sleep after I've been reading in my bed (I've tried to use the "force" to turn the light off in this situation more times than I can count).
7. Having to change my early morning routine because of someone else.
8. When I get in the car with the person I carpool with and the radio is on too loud.
9. When I get in the car with the person I carpool with and he talks to me too much.
10. Clutter.

Top 5

Partly in response to an email, and partly cause I was going to anyway, I give unto you my top five movie list.

1. Cast Away
2. Lord of the Rings
3. Bridge Over the River Kwai
4. Rocky I
5. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

I also have included my top five comedy list because I think of it as a separate category.

1. Pee Wee's Big Adventure
2. Airplane
3. Any movie with Willy Wonka in it
4. School of Rock
5. All movies are excluded that starred a member of Saturday Night Live from the past 15 years

This list changes all the time, but this is what I came up with after midnight. The really tough list would be my top five book list.

So Long and Thanks For All the Fish

My semester ends in exactly one week and then finals start. I just want to say good-bye to all my friends. I'll still try to keep in contact as much as I can so don't hate me if I don't respond in a timely manner. Some of you may hate me anyway, but I probably deserve it for some reason.

Have it Your Way

Have you seen this face? This is the infamous (or in 'n famous) "The King" from the latest Burger King commercials. In one commercial, some dude wakes up, looks over, and The King is in bed with him offering him a breakfast sandwich. In another, some guy wakes up and when he opens his blinds, The King is just standing outside his window ready to offer him a breakfast sandwich. Many have commented that The King is scary, but I say he's creepy/cool (an alternative kind of cool). I could think of nothing better than to "Wake up to The King" handing me a breakfast sandwich loaded with all the fixins. I mean, seriously, could you say no to a face like that?