Friday, August 25, 2006

Secret Shame?

In the 90's, there was a commercial starring a NFL player named Craig "Ironhead" Heyward, who said that it's ok for men to use body wash. Ever since that commercial, I have used body wash in the shower without questioning my masculinity one bit. However, even today, an attitude persists that only girls can use body wash. I just want to reaffirm that it's not girly to use body wash. If a tough guy named "Ironhead" can use it, then why can't a tough guy named "Steelman."
Furthermore, there are some products that have different names depending on which sex is using it. For example, men wear shirts while women wear blouses. Women wear bras and men wear bros. Women use purses and men...well, men should not use purses under any circumstances. The point is that, in the shower, women use a loofah but men use a sponge. Men do not use loofahs. That would be like a man saying he wears a blouse. In conclusion, I'm not ashamed, but proud to use body wash with my sponge.

Monday, August 21, 2006

My Pride

I've always hated being wrong. Sometimes, when someone tells me that I'm wrong about something, I will argue that I'm right even though in my heart of hearts I know that I'm wrong. I just can't stand admitting my errors to other people. Well, I might have learned my lesson last week.

There is a TV commercial for cars.com in which a car changes colors everytime a gardener gets close to it because someone is inside clicking through car choices on cars.com. Anyway, I first saw this commercial and thought the actor playing the gardener was the actor, Harland Williams, from the movie, Rocketman. My roommate, however, thought that it was an actor named Kevin West, who had been in the movie, Bio-Dome. Our argument became so intense that we decided to put something on the line. By this time, I knew I was absolutely wrong but I couldn't admit it to myself or to my roommates. We put a half pound of Albertson's Chicken Strips on the line, but later that night, we upped the ante to include that the loser would have to climb the 20 foot rope swing in our backyard while stark naked. Needless to say, I emailed cars.com who informed me that I was wrong. So this week I will be climbing a rope naked as a jaybird. I'll publish the pictures in my next blog post.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

White Bored

So, I was hanging out at Target today. I chose Target because Wal-mart is too crowded and dirty and because apparently I'm a mall rat so I'm trying to cut back on my mall attendance. Anyway, that's not the point. While I was wandering around one of my favorite sections, the Office/School Supplies section, I came across a small white board that I thought would be so helpful to have hanging in my room. Upon getting home and unwrapping it, I realized I had no idea what I could ever use the white board for. It seemed so practical at Super Target, but once I got it home I could see that I had been tricked by the little Target Gnomes that whisper in your ear how much you need a certain item until you buy it. So now I have a new white board and i don't know what I can use it for. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

"Secret" Poem

25 soldiers marching in pairs.

Marching with
pretty bows in their hairs;
onto the field with the sun all aglow,
nothing at all like GI Joe;
they stop for a drink at the well on the knoll,
hoping they don't fall into the hole,
still wondering who in their group is the mole.